rum

does not help to be more social. And this is the goal of the month, I wanted to make more friends and feel less lonely. It worked with buddies found over the years who caught me online. Felt welcome and understood. Quite confused about my identity. I do not identify with women? And am more masculine than some men? that's news.
And rum was in the cola glasses, three glasses and maybe some 100 ml or rum. And at one point I felt more daring but what was I supposed to dare. The disco was usual dancing torture - I cannot get why people enjoy dancing so much.
Also the women... I do not identify :) feel better around transbois, I think or maybe it is some of my weird ideas of the day. The week was very crucial for the way I look at myself. A lot of support came from the counseling nurse on Thursday and from Ronny, my supervisor, who said that I am very intelligent and did the best on the exam.
A potom some 7 hours of chatting with Roma and Karina, letting thoughts go loose. I should not be afraid to tell and should not think that people do not care (though in reality they dont).
Koroche, ne znayu ya, life seems to very boring and depressing because I do not enjoy things that people find fun. whats wrong with me?